Tao Thay Shang Men - English

Q & A 9
From : Lie Fung Ying
Question : As a person of Siu Tao, we are expected to be filial to our parents. However, what if in fulfilling parents’ expectation, we have to give up our dreams?

For example: A would like to study architecture, whereas his / her parents want him / her to be a doctor. A has tried to get them to understand his dreams, however the parents still insist. What step should A take?
Answer :
To be filial to parents is a morality that everyone should have. However, it should be realized that being filial is not the same as following all parent’s wants. Having a different opinion with parents doesn’t mean that we are not filial to parents. And the difference has to be well explained. Even though you have to make a decision that is not aligned with their wants, it is fine. For sure, you must have thought of it deeply and are confident that it is the right decision.
In your example, if A really are talented in architecture and have no interest in medicine, it would be better to take a decision according to his / her interest and talent. That would avoid any regrets for both parties. It is also very wise to seek help from others that could explain things better to the parents.